Welcome New Viewers

Won’t you take a few moments to read some of the posts below?

By sharing my experience I hope to help divorcing parents avoid my divorce pain, for the kids sake.

What I have gone through isn’t an isolated event;  it happens all over the world everyday and very often (In My Opinion) it happens by accident.  It is a slow process which is exacerbated by other influential adults in a child of divorce’ life talking negatively about a non-custodial parent.  The more rejecting the custodial parent is of the ex-spouse, the more hatred and contempt displayed by the parent a child lives with then the MORE likely that child will eventually reject the non-custodial parent.  This is due to fear of rejection by both parents.  If custodial parent can reject someone s/he promised to love honor and cherish so maliciously, what is to prevent custodial parent from rejecting the child if s/he displeases him/her? What would happen to that child if mom and dad both reject him/her? Would they be alone? Fear rules the depths of a child’s imagination.

My opinions are that there is no way to completely reverse Parental Alienation once the child is over 16-17 because too much has been lost, like the point of no return.

I believe that some families and people don’t even realize how serious the impact of their off the cuff remarks are to the listening child.

I believe that the custodial parent has a duty to maintain open contact with the other parent and to do everything possible to help the child retain the parent child relationship that existed during the marriage.

I FIRMLY believe that neither parent should move farther away than 30 miles.  This was my BIGGEST MISTAKE.

I believe that family courts should have some sort of public defender or other type of legal aid on a sliding scale to even out the playing field in these very important issues.  When one parent has all the resources and the other is destitute even the idea of custody being given to the poor parent is a concept the indigent parent wouldn’t want, because with the wealthy one the child will have their needs met by virtue of financial ability.  I recall a few visits where I had nothing but peanut butter and rice to feed 5 of us for a weekend.  It is an awful feeling to have nothing more to offer the children you love.

I believe that there should be a post divorce review, not in the courthouse, but with some type of case manager who retrieves various pieces of information and documents the judge may have ordered created or filed, receipts proving bills have been paid; child support and alimony payments should be processed electronically via a private party who would report immediately any failure of payment which can be settled swiftly without long drawn out contempt hearings.

I believe that family court judges should not interject their personal beliefs regarding the divorcing parties into their verdict.  In my case I had been too politically active as a Republican in a Democrat State; it hurt me in court, I am sure of it.

These are just some of my views and I hope you will read on to learn more about My Divorce Pain so it will prevent you from hurting too.

Leah Leanne Talley (Formerly Wesolowski)

A response X’s 2

I believe I told you, dear reader, that I had told my Daughter Libby about this blog, and that she really didn’t approve stating it is “Private”, and therefore inappropriate for me to publish things here…

I told her it was time for me to tell my side of the story and that it was healing, and quite the relief to finally have the courage to tell others about this part of my life in the hope I can save a marriage; prevent acrimony in divorce; or prevent Parental Alienation.

Then I asked her why is she angry at me for posting the court docs, the IRS Lien, when it was the settlement her dad asked for; and it was he who refused to complete that settlement.  I never wanted this, she knows that is true.

She replied, (sighing) “yeah, I guess you’re right Ma, but I hate it.”

*******************************

Then I was messing around with my iPad the other day and hit an e-mail address belonging to one of my kids and typed “Hi” not expecting that email to be any good. A few seconds later “Bling” there was a message, the first contact in several years, it stated (Paraphrasing) “Stop contacting me. Stop lying on your horrible blog about my family, and take down your review of “Momma” because it is negative and you missed the point of your child’s words when she wrote it.”

I thought about it a few and then I wrote, “I’ll make you a deal, I will remove anything from my blog that you can prove is a lie. I will try to remove my review of the Song “Momma” and I won’t contact you at all if I can get one text a week saying you are alive and well and healthy.”

I changed my review of the song “Momma” I tried to delete it, but there was no option.

I have not been notified of any “Lies” that need to be addressed here, so it remains.

I haven’t been given a text back, but I am going to wait the full week before I cry about that.

Thanks for reading.
Responses are welcome.

A Heart that is so Broken Sometimes Just HAS to say, “Enough”!

I was texting my daughter (the only one that still talks to me) the other night.  She says that all this stuff is private and I shouldn’t publish it.

I  really think over the things I publish, I have prayed about it, I have even discussed it with an attorney and come to the conclusion that the only thing left for me to do it to show the hypocrisy, and give public evidence of the pain I have endured now for 12 years.  I blog here not just to regain some of my own lost pride, but also because I FIRMLY believe that Parental Alienation can only be prevented if one knows what to look for.

I was BLINDSIDED by this.  I never imagined the children I gave birth to could hate me so harshly, and so undeservedly.  I was a good mother.  I tried very hard to teach my children in ways that would have meaning, not just by lecture or spanking, but by demonstrating how actions have consequences.

My children have taught me that in divorce leaving the state is the absolute WORST IDEA anyone can have.  You MUST BE THERE for them even if it is not in the same house.  For that mistake I will pay continuously for the rest of my life.

I can’t keep reaching out to them, to be hung up on, or avoid writing the truth here because it is embarrassing.  TO BAD!

A) I never wanted to be divorced; he filed against me.

B) I signed our IRS documents shortly after the divorce, HE DIDN’T FILE them, HE disobeyed the courts order, not me.

C) I had to pay private mortgage interest rates because he left my name on our home in Alabama for 6 years the rate of interest I was paying was 10.5% while the bank rate was around 5%.

D) I couldn’t go back to school for two years because of his failure to file.  Until I finally consulted the IRS and an attorney who told me that since he did not comply with the judge’s 30 day mandate I was no longer obligated to wait, I could file on my own, and I did.

E) When American Express sued him his defense was that I was mental and overspent.  However, all the items I bought he enjoys.

F) If I was mental as he says, how is it that he was able or even RIGHT to have me sign a “Quit Claim” deed on our home while I was in the hospital voluntarily seeking help for what I can only describe as a “breakdown”?

G) The religious aspects of this really tick me off, I have been avoiding writing about them, but there will be a lot about that coming soon.  Anyway, he is a born Catholic.  Divorces are not acceptable, and his divorce, and subsequent remarriage, according to Doctrine makes him (and by default me) an adulterer in the eyes of the Catholic Church.  So how does he have the nerve to take Holy Communion? I don’t.  I won’t until I get a blessing to do so by a priest I am seeing for counseling over all this.  So far, he has not said I can receive communion.   PLUS Chuck is a Knight of Columbus and a Past Grand Knight, who marches in Parades in full regalia which kind of makes me want to barf.

G) GEE how can he make this right?  Admit to the kids he lied to them about me, that HE refused me re-admittance to the home, he wanted the divorce and that he systematically chased me out of Alabama… That he did not follow the court order, that HE kept my letters and gifts from them so they would think I was not thinking about them ALL THE TIME (which I was). That I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and he knows it, and they should too. FINALLY he needs to pay me the money I was awarded in our divorce.

I am not holding my breath,.  But I am so GLAD that there is a FIRST AMENDMENT.