How to Help a Family Even if They Don’t Ask For Help

By: Leah Talley (Wesolowski)

I’m still of the opinion that many parents alienate their children from their ex-spouses at first by accident. I still believe a person never stops loving another person simply because they broke up. Deep down it is pain that drives them to hurt and denigrate their former love. Pain that turns into anger. Anger that is sometimes beyond control.

The best way to help someone you know is to gently remind them that the ex-spouse they are trash talking and making hateful comments about both in the presence of children who are 50% their ex’ DNA was also a person with whom they once deeply loved and that you don’t believe they were such bad judges of character.
Remind them that the children are absorbing their every word and if they believe they are made up of 50% shit it’s going to take a toll on their self esteem.

on love

Two people loved each other It was clear and true between them They did not understand what hurt meant They did not know it was possible They lived, in love. There was a person who was afraid Why? We do not know And, for now, it doesn’t matter This person knows hurt is possible They […]

via The Power Of Humans — LYNCH

Parental Alienation IS in DSM-5

“In a 2016 scientific paper, DSM authors Dr. Narrow and Dr. Wamboldt say that parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Affected by Parental Alienation Distress (V61.29) if one is talking about the child. Parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Psychological Abuse (V995.51) if one is talking about a parent alienating their child. This confirms that parental alienation is indeed in DSM-5.”

The Form of Child Abuse Known as Parental Alienation

Eric Clapton on Healing From Trauma

When Eric Clapton’s son died in a tragic and horrible accident at age four, Eric turned to writing words and music for healing. He feels that this saved him—going to that place of raw and tender emotion and writing about his loss, in what he calls “a purging experience.”

He has survived separation from his mother at an early age, drug and alcohol addiction, the loss of his son, and managed to come through it all and remained sane and whole. How?
“I think it’s the process of letting it go, acknowledging that I’m not the master. It ain’t about what I want, it’s about what I can give.”

“The greatest thing that I have is being awake for my life, and being able to participate, and having no more dark secrets inside which damage me.”

Eric’s healing is a beautiful expression of heartfulness, as mindfulness, compassion, and responsibility:

Being mindful—awake, aware, present in one’s life, actively participating in its moment to moment unfolding, rather than being mindless, forgetful, numbing oneself with drugs, alcohol, and empty pleasures.
Accepting one’s vulnerability, letting go, surrendering, accepting that one can never always master life and be in control of one’s fate.
Going into the darkness, embracing the traumas, wounds, regrets, mistakes, shortcomings, that make one fallible and imperfectly human, as these are what make you who you are.
Gently touching these tender places inside our hearts, witnessing, and helping the hurts to find a way out through art, music, and storytelling.
Acknowledging that ultimately life is not about what you want, but listening to what life wants from you, and heeding the calling.
Finding a sense of purpose in your creation, and what life deals you, and giving what you can in gratitude to all that you have received.

Parental Alienation: What Is The Solution? — The Long Term Effects of Parental Alienation

By: Edward Kruk, Ph.D. Every day I receive emails from alienated parents and extended family members distraught over the suffering of their children as well as their own grief and frustrated by their powerlessness to protect their children from the egregious form of emotional child abuse that is parental alienation. In addition, I get numerous replies to my postings on […]

via Parental Alienation: What Is The Solution? — The Long Term Effects of Parental Alienation

This is so frustrating.

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There they are at it again.

This is so frustrating Just bickering. And here we are, right in the middle, trying to understand them. They want to tell us conflicting information and we want to die.

All, of sudden we’re like Sherlock Holmes, hunting down clues to see who’s right. And it doesn’t help that they each want to make themselves look so great, while totally bashing the other. I mean, I just want some damn clarity.

Ok, I get it. They don’t like each other. And they shouldn’t. Like they both do stupid stuff, but like, come on. I don’t really want to hear one thing one day and then something else another.

They try to keep like a million things a secret from us. Grown-up stuff or whatever, but just because they share the same friends doesn’t mean they can say someone did something, when the other says they didn’t. You can’t just stick Jim in the middle of this.  He has been a family friend for so long. Now we’re made to believe he’s taking sides!

This is so frustrating. You know what would be easier? Just add us to the group chat! We’re basically like adults now. You can tell us what you’re so mad about and not just have the divorce lawyer slip us some info while we are at school. It’s so embarrassing. Our friend Janice saw the lawyer come in and give us the memo dad left for Jim about how mom is being a total bitch and well it was just dumb and distracted me for like the whole day. And it’s all everyone is talking about now. You’re embarrassing me! And now Dad doesn’t want to tell us what mom said to Jim and we’re left so far outta of the loop!

Look, this custody battle has taken over a year. Just figure it out. We get it, you guys don’t like each other, but why do we have to be in the middle of this? I just want to go to school, hang out with my friends, and then relax at the house. I don’t need 600 tweets and texts from my friends trying to keep up with how dysfunctional my family is. That’s all I got to say. And tell Dad to stop hanging out with people who hit their girlfriends. It’s gross.