“In a 2016 scientific paper, DSM authors Dr. Narrow and Dr. Wamboldt say that parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Affected by Parental Alienation Distress (V61.29) if one is talking about the child. Parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Psychological Abuse (V995.51) if one is talking about a parent alienating their child. This confirms that parental alienation is indeed in DSM-5.”
There they are at it again.
This is so frustrating Just bickering. And here we are, right in the middle, trying to understand them. They want to tell us conflicting information and we want to die.
All, of sudden we’re like Sherlock Holmes, hunting down clues to see who’s right. And it doesn’t help that they each want to make themselves look so great, while totally bashing the other. I mean, I just want some damn clarity.
Ok, I get it. They don’t like each other. And they shouldn’t. Like they both do stupid stuff, but like, come on. I don’t really want to hear one thing one day and then something else another.
They try to keep like a million things a secret from us. Grown-up stuff or whatever, but just because they share the same friends doesn’t mean they can say someone did something, when the other says they didn’t. You can’t just stick Jim in the middle of this. He has been a family friend for so long. Now we’re made to believe he’s taking sides!
This is so frustrating. You know what would be easier? Just add us to the group chat! We’re basically like adults now. You can tell us what you’re so mad about and not just have the divorce lawyer slip us some info while we are at school. It’s so embarrassing. Our friend Janice saw the lawyer come in and give us the memo dad left for Jim about how mom is being a total bitch and well it was just dumb and distracted me for like the whole day. And it’s all everyone is talking about now. You’re embarrassing me! And now Dad doesn’t want to tell us what mom said to Jim and we’re left so far outta of the loop!
Look, this custody battle has taken over a year. Just figure it out. We get it, you guys don’t like each other, but why do we have to be in the middle of this? I just want to go to school, hang out with my friends, and then relax at the house. I don’t need 600 tweets and texts from my friends trying to keep up with how dysfunctional my family is. That’s all I got to say. And tell Dad to stop hanging out with people who hit their girlfriends. It’s gross.
By: Leah Talley (Wesolowski)
I’m still of the opinion that many parents alienate their children from their ex-spouses at first by accident. I still believe a person never stops loving another person simply because they broke up. Deep down it is pain that drives them to hurt and denigrate their former love. Pain that turns into anger. Anger that is sometimes beyond control.
The best way to help someone you know is to gently remind them that the ex-spouse they are trash talking and making hateful comments about both in the presence of children who are 50% their ex’ DNA was also a person with whom they once deeply loved and that you don’t believe they were such bad judges of character.
Remind them that the children are absorbing their every word and if they believe they are made up of 50% shit it’s going to take a toll on their self esteem.
A snake asked a man walking up a steep mountain to carry him to the top.
The man said he couldn’t because the snake would bite him.
The snake promised to be good.
The man carried the snake to the top upon their arrival the snake immediately bit the man.
The man said you promised to be good.
The snake said you knew my nature all along and for some reason you expected me to not act in my nature, just because I promised. All things will act in their true nature unless it benefits them to hide their true nature. I lived up to my true nature when you were no longer of use to me…
At that the man, who was a survivor and tired of all the poison in this world, flung the snake off the mountain where he was crushed to death by the fall. The man then sought out help for the poisoned bite.
After a time the man made it to a first aid station where he recieved help from people who cared for other mountain climbers. Since they were brave enough to live in the mountains in order to help others the man would live and after some time would recover.
After his recovery he decided to always carry a snake bite kit with him in order to help anyone he may meet harmed by a snake.
I took an old proverb and added a happy ending. It is what I hope we alienated family members can start doing as we move through life. How many times have you overheard someone speaking ill of a non-custodial spouse? How many times have you remained silent, even if you knew the other party wasn’t the “BAD PERSON” s/he was being made to seem like? Vow to carry a snake bite kit with you, and to have the courage to toss the snakes off their mountains. Leah Talley
hadn’t seen dad in 12 years It was a birthday to remember for 13-year-old Rory Beth Blankenship.
The Oklahoma teen’s eyes were covered by two blindfolds for the ultimate surprise: being reunited with her father, James, after 12 years apart.
10. We know what it’s like to go through custody battles, and we don’t want to seal our kids to that fate by marrying the wrong person.
Money Money Money
The times are changing for family court issues. No longer are “Mommies” automatically the preferred custodial parent. Now “Daddies” have about an equal chance at primary custody IF, yes IF, they have the cash.I have watched and read so many divorce cases, and appeals and come away sure in my belief that s/he who has the biggest bankroll will win.
KNOW PROTECT and ASSERT your RIGHTS
There are no “Public Attorney’s” for family court. However I strongly believe THERE SHOULD BE!! In family courts there are no juries for the most part, only a judge, often biased in belief, and I often wonder if influenced by, well I’ll say it, bribery and/or extortion. I say this after reading so many cases where a judge has ignored the best interest of the parties to favor the best financial bottom line. Maybe some of you believe financial strength SHOULD take precedence over a parent who is destitute.
Did we bring this on ourselves by using children/child support to punish ex spouses in contemptuous accusations? In family court it is so often the non-payers who wind up in jail for their failure to pay. The court seemingly indifferent to the non-payers life circumstance such as loss of job, disability, or the fact that the children the court demands support for LOATHES the parent (usually due to PAS and rarely by fault of their own)
Who would want to put out half their income, often living in squalor, so a child taught to hate them could have a new car, braces to make them beautiful, music lessons for their pleasure, or worse, money for the alcohol which their custodial parent consumes far too much of?
5th, 6th, 7th and 8th Amendments SHOULD Apply
I contend that any legal process that could result in the loss of your freedom should be covered by the Bill of Rights as equally as it is applied in Criminal Court; and go a step farther to state that some actions in divorce cases should be criminalized, ESPECIALLY Parental Alienation.
Parental Alienation charges should be available OUTSIDE family court such that not strictly former spouse, but anyone caught or proven to have harmed a parent child relation should be open for civil liability and in some cases, criminal charges.
Want to discuss this? please click discuss criminalizing PAS
This past week I have been struggling about blogging my life. One of my kids says she hates reading about her family here… I know it hurts her and I know she probablly feels compelled to read anyway.
I feel I must continue blogging here because I run across so many people on a daily basis facing choices I once made; facing outcomes that might hurt all the people they love, and I think my experiences might help them avoid mistakes that can’t be undone mistakes known by experts in PAS & High Conflict Divorces (HCD) shown, known and proven to cause serious, sometimes PERMANENT, psychological trauma to kids and parents in high conflict divorce cases (HCD}.
If you’ve been reading here before then you know that I feel that sometimes a parent isn’t alienating the child/ren on purpose; sometimes they are just so full of pain over the break-up they can’t bring themselves to be respectful… Talking about the other parent in a positive light is actually impossible when one is hurting so badly… and alienation can occur subconsciously. However, once a parent understands that their behavior, comments, and preventing contact so that normal healthy parent/child relationships can continue to exist, is harming not just their ex, but also damaging the children, well then we move to a different level. We may be leaving kids in the care of a cruel and possibly dangerous person… One who doesn’t care about the child’s self esteem, or who places their own feelings above those others. This is the person who should face sanctions, possibly criminal charges for child abuse. That is EXACTLY what this behavior is; Child Abuse.
Signs of parental alienation include:
- Bad-mouthing the other parent to the children
- Limiting contact
- Erasing the parent from the children’s lives
- Forcing the children to reject the other parent
- Forcing the children to choose sides
- Creating the impression the other parent is dangerous (yes I just said the alternator is the dangerous one…)
- Belittling comments to the other parent in front of the children
- Calling the children to testify against the other parent
- Convincing the children the other parent is creating financial hardship on the family
- Spreading rumors and lies to community members which make it difficult, if not impossible, for the other parent to remain within the family’s previous shared community.
- Making criminal allegations to law enforcement causing legal issues and sometimes incarceration when there is no validity to the charges; or the charges emanate from legal activity prior to divorce or separation.
My son believes that I stole from his father, he says he was shown proof. I have asked to see this proof to no avail. I’m left to believe either it doesn’t exist, or may be easily refuted once I can see what was shown to him. Proving a negative is almost impossible. However making sense of documents, providing legitimate reasons specific papers exist, is quite simple. Showing a kid some stock trades or line item purchases without giving background, or dates, (perhaps a married couple decision to make a purchase, now being twisted into a theft by the outsider) whatever the case may be, if their was a CRIME COMMITTED then the District Attorney would file charges, a criminal trial would ensue, and the truth would come out because unlike family court, criminal court has due process and burdens of proof to satisfy. How is a child supposed to have the critical thinking skills required to question legitimacy of these types of accusations? S/he can’t s/he just believes it or not.
MY HIGHEST CRIME:
ONE DAY while I was still married I did something out of anger that I knew was wrong. I charged 100 pizzas to his card and had them delivered to his former workplace with a nice greeting. $500. is no felony. People enjoyed it and I felt a little less angry that day.
Yup I did that.
– See more at: http://www.natlawreview.com/article/parental-alienation#sthash.bSissCTq.dpuf
So you’re going through a divorce and one of you really is the victim – or so you think. You were cheated on. You were abused. I get it. You were wronged in some way. And you have children with this person … We all know that we’re not supposed to tell our kids the […]
https://waltersingletons.wordpress.com/Well, today I feel stuck. Just absolutely stuck. The pain of missing my children is always there to some degree, but today more than anything I feel completely FRUSTRATED. Helpless. I know where my…
Source: 9/20/16 – Being Stuck