Concerned Citizens for Family Law Reform — World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

Originally posted on Children’s Rights: We the people of the Great State of Florida do hereby request that our current #GovernorScott issue the following executive orders. It is within his power to do so. 1. An immediate executive order inacting the alimony language as part of the now VETOED #SB668 since #GovernorScott has expressed…

via Concerned Citizens for Family Law Reform — World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

Finally A Chance To Be Heard

MainStreamMedia Wants to Hear about Your Case!

CALLING All Women Whose Kids Were Taken Away & Given to Fathers: MainStreamMedia (MSM) Is Listening!

Many National Mainstream Media Investigative Journalists, both TV and print, have recently contacted Cindy Dumas, Director of The Women’s Coalition, about the epidemic of children taken from women and given to fathers, many of whom are physically or sexually abusive.

MSM wants to know the extent of the crisis so this social media event has been set up for all women to get their voices heard. Editors, reporters and producers will be reading the posts and comments so please let them know how this has negatively impacted your life!

There are three ways you can participate:
1. Join the event and post about your case.
2. Comment, Like and SHARE posts
3. Send an email to

email: TheWomensCoalitionPAC@gmail.com

 with a one page or less summary of your case. Put MSM in the subject line. [TWC will keep name confidential if it is requested.]

NOTE: It can be very brief if you’re short on time, something like:
“I am my children’s primary bond, but they were taken away from me when they were 8 and 10 and sole custody was given to the father who was abusive to them. I have been restricted to supervised visits and have been bankrupted fighting for them. We have been destroyed by the system.”
If you sent one for the UN Complaint, you can use that summary.
If you want anonymity TWC will post it for you.
Use a photo for more impact.

WHO should participate: Any woman who was the primary nurturer of her child(ren) and lost primary custody to a father (whether he was abusive or not)–even if joint custody was awarded–without a fair hearing.

NOTE: One journalist is especially interested in Massachusetts cases and two are especially interested in cases where the mothers went into hiding.

ONE PAGE SUMMARY (optional):
• You were/are the primary nurturing parent
• How many children were taken
• What false accusations were used
• What kind of visitation you got, if any
• How long you went without seeing your kids
• What kind of abuse was involved, if any
• Whether your evidence was covered up or disregarded
• Whether you were coerced into silence; by whom
• Which officials involved: DA’s, law enforcement, social services, family court officials, psychologists, therapists, etc. (names optional);
• Whether you/your kids suffered trauma symptoms
• Whether you were financially devastated
• Whether your career was damaged or destroyed
• How you feel about what was done to you and your children

Please SHARE this event so MSM is deluged with cases!!

(bloggers opinion, this should be an issue of injustice regardless of sex)

A Letter From Before My Divorce

Wesolowski, Charles 6/10/02
To: Charles.wesolowski@XXXX.com
charles.wesolowski@XXXX.com

Hi Chuck,

After that phone call I had a lot of time to think; in fact, I can’t sleep for all the thinking I am doing.

You clever little man, puting all the things in your name; like the house and the cars, and then really, honestly, pretending like this was all my doing. You have been planning this divorce for a long time. Haven’t you?

I gave you my best years. I bore four children and let you name them. I took your inattention for over a decade. I plead with you, I argued with you and finally I began to nag at you to do the things that most husbands do automatically. Things like get the sox off the sofa, change lightbulbs, mow lawns, and most importantly to make love to me, and for over a decade my requests, pleas, and finally nagging went unheaded. When I think of all the nights I lie awake in bed while you were downstairs talking to Trent on the phone; or playing a PC game, or reading a book, or perhaps watching the TV… and I all I wanted was to feel your love… but you never touched me on those nights… It makes me feel so utterly small. Oh my the night that I really did beg you to come make love to me. And I was rebuffed by you, and a few hours later, as I lie in bed awake pining for your touch to hear the sound of soft porn music coming from the TV, to quietly tiptoe down the hall and see you on the couch masturbating… Do you have any idea how hurt I was that night, and how certian I was then that you really didn’t love me. Not the way a husband loves his wife.

You use the words “I love you” so frequently when you talk to me on the phone; even now after you have filed for a divorce from me, even now you tell me everytime we talk that you love me… and then you tell me that I do not know what love is. The fact of the matter is that I DO know what love is. Love is grace, it is powerful, and it complles us (humans) to do the right thing by each other. Love ensures us that we do not thirst for a human touch when we have true love… Love ensures us that when we are sad we are held; when we are happy we laugh, and when we are angry we know that the power that is love will not go away simply because anger has clouded our judgement. True love does not accept divorce as any type of answer to life’s problems, be they financial or otherwise. True love does not allow its children to be torn apart inside… Taken from one parent’s home to the other… A person who loves their children more than they love themselves does NOT do this to their kids. A selfish person divorces because he or she can not take the full responsibility of the committment they made to thier spouse and the child at the time it was conceived. The responsibility to give the child THE BEST upbringing possible with the MOST amount of Love.

Having the children here over the weekend made me realize once again how utterly selfish you are. You do not care what is best for them and once again you place YOUR NEEDS above the needs of your children and also me. I NEED my children to be happy. Our children NEED to feel my love every day; not when the courts so deem it. They need MY LOVE all the time. I know that you know this is true. They need YOUR LOVE every day as well. I can not be a willing participant in this divorce. This will cause irreprable harm to our kids. I can see it taking it’s toll already. I am once again pleading with you to STOP THIS NOW.

I can not, in good conscious, just sit back and let you tear four lives to pieces. You are not acting with the grace of God. Let he who lives without sin cast the first stone. Please come to your senses and stop this immediately. Even if you are not going to be “happy” for the next 18 years (or whatever); it is your job to make sure your children are happy. I will never accept a divorce. I know this is NOT the answer; I have committed my life to my children for most of the past 13 years and I will not willingly participate in something I know will harm them permanently like this divorce is doing and will continue to hurt them.

You always want things your way, but this is not something I am willing to budge on. I am not giving you a divorce and will fight it with every breath in my body. Children need 2 parents, not a granny and a part time dad. Your depriving me of being with my kids is very harmful to them. My son cried in my arms both days saying he wants to be with me. I know that he needs his mommy right now. I know all of my kids need their Mom right now. And I also know that I am their mother. Your mother is NOT.

~ ~ ~ ~

Resolution…

Immediately revoke the request for a divorce. Request a refund of the money not used from your retainer.

Tell your mother to go back to her own life. I will take care of getting my kids to and from where they need to be and I will do their homework with them, and I do not need her help – at all.

Come with me to talk to Rick on Tuesday about the Ranch house. Use the refund to place the money on that lot to hold it until we sell our house.

Start working WITH ME to clear out all the stuff we do not need anylonger, we can have Garage sales every day if we need to and just put that money toward debt and make you feel better. Stop making it a challenge to see who can do the least.

Start paying exclusive attention to each other in the bedroom for at least 1/2 hour a day. Touching each other, and making each other feel physically good. EQUALLY.

Drop the Saco and I will drop the HOA and we call it even mistakes with the divorce included and we go on. We work around it. We go to a local counsellor if we need to until retrovallie, and we just keep working on it. If it was easy 2 out of 3 couples would not be breaking up. But so what. We can do this.

~ ~ ~ ~

Let me know Monday.

Make the right decision.

I do love you, you are my best friend. Stop hurting me.

The difference between tattooed people and those without tattoos is tattoed people don’t care if you have a tattoo.

An Open Letter to My Children’s Stepmother

  • * * * UPDATE to My Readers * * *
  • I recently wrote a private letter to the Stepmother asking her if we could bury the hatchet now that I am frequently invited to Al. to see my granddaughter. I have had no reply, I assume that means no.
  • I posted a link in the step-parents area at reddit/divorce and I was shocked to have such negative feedback.  People telling me to remain out of my newly reunited, adult children’s lives and to leave SM alone.  I just DON’T understand WHY people can’t get along?  Why does it have to be ONLY her, and how could she really hate a person she has never taken 10 minutes to know?
  • I really am struggling with these questions because I want to be able to attend future events, weddings, christenings, Holy Communion, all of it. I do not want my kids to have to pick one of us, we are adults and I feel we should be able to be in the same room civilly, for the KIDS!  Please post new thoughts below…
  • Here is the Reddit link:
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/comments/3joe7y/letter_to_stepmom_falls_on_deaf_ears_i_want_to/

 

Dear Jill,
Although we have never spent any time together I believe that you and I COULD become friendly, if not friends.

First off; let me again express my gratitude to you for guiding my children into adulthood. I honestly believe that without your influence they would not have achieved so much. I can’t thank you enough for loving them. Sincere, heartfelt THANKS!

Now I need to address some issues that I feel we, yes, you and I TOGETHER, need to come to terms with.

The number one thing that Wanda told me you said about me that really hurt my feelings was, “anybody can spit out four kids”. I have serious issues with that statement because it is a falsehood number one; because the children are mine, they are NOT your flesh and blood. Yes, you were there for them the past 7 years or so, but that doesn’t make them your children. It makes the children your family, people you love and people you are partially responsible for, still they will always be 50% of my genetic code and no matter how much you love them you can’t replace me. You can’t change their genetic make-up and as much as I believe you wish you could erase all traces of me from them, you can’t. I suggest that you come to terms with this and try to comprehend the special bond of mother and child which I have observed to remain intact even when a child is separated from their biological mother from birth.
Allow me to give you an example from my own life. You may not know this about me but I was adopted. I had a burning desire to find my biological family, my roots, at a very young age. To that end I began adoption research at the age of 15. I spent countless hours scouring records of “Chattle” (yes, sickening that Arizona used a livestock sales column to post adoption announcements) helping so many other people in the Az Search Triad, but never successfully locating my own announcement.
After Charlene was born I became obsessed really with locating my birth mother, and after much research I finally found her.
What she experienced the day I called her for the first time clearly demonstrates the connection between mother and child that remans unbroken through time.

My birth mother, June, (Wanda June is named after both Chuck’s mother and my birth mother) is the type of woman who’s only idle time is when she is asleep. She never really stops doing. The day I first called her was one of the rare moments in her life where she simply paused, by the telephone no less, in certain anticipation of a call from a daughter she had never met. Call it a psychic connection, a twinned cell, or, as I believe, a blood bond, she knew the baby she placed for adoption was going to call her that day and she was ready.

Jill I am not telling you this to make a comparison between the love our children have for mother or step mother. I trying desperately to explain that EVERYONE in this family will be far better off with more love rather than more pain. I would never force my children to choose between you and I, not for fear of the outcome, but because it is simply UNNECESSARY for them to make any such choice.

Now Jill, my children are almost all adults and I realize that they can decide never to speak to me again. How do you think they will feel when they have their own children and become aware of the deception and mean-spirited tactics that have pushed me away since the moment you became an important part of their lives? Do you believe that they will overlook the awful things you and Robin have said about me over the years?

I am betting adulthood will open their eyes to just how mean you have been to me. I HONESTLY Hope they don’t become so angry with you for the accusations, the not telling them I called, wrote, or flew 1200 miles to see them only to be threatened by you with trespass charges if I didn’t leave. Jill, as deeply as you have hurt me, I don’t wish this pain upon you.

I think of ALL of you everyday and while sometimes I am filled with pain, which ultimately leads to anger, for the most part I think of you fondly. I imagine you teaching Wanda to read music, encouraging Daniel to pursue drama, and holding the grandchildren I will never hold, with the love and adoration they clearly deserve. I imagine the pain you feel, as I once felt, being ignored intimately by a man who was sadly taught that sexual intercourse was something women despised, and that showing affection or being publicly affectionate was inappropriate even for man and wife. I imagine you crying alone realizing they will soon be gone and that even though you are married to a great guy, you will soon be very lonely.

Jill, I will always welcome any positive relationship with you. I would be able to overcome the painful past if you would simply reach out in sincere friendship to me. We have much in common, my kids have told me this time and again. I was told by Daniel that I left hurtful messages on your answering machine for you. I honestly do not recall trying to be hurtful towards you; yet I know that when I am in pain I can be very mean. I know this sounds like I am making excuses, I am not. There is no excuse if I hurt you; and if I did I am truly sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.

Jill, please, I am begging you to start to TRY to add me to your life.

Whatever your choice, I wish you well.

Sincerely,
Leah

Begin Chinese

我的孩子的继母的公开信

指控应对离婚戏剧字母父母的疏远步父母公婆的作用兄弟姐妹的作用车削家长反对孩子

亲爱的建筑业,
虽然我们永远不会花任何时间在一起,我相信你和我能变得友好,如果不是朋友。

第一关 ;让我再次表示,我感谢你为指导我的孩子们进入成年期。老实说,我相信不受你影响他们将不会取得这么多。谢谢你足够爱他们不行,诚意,表示衷心的感谢 !

现在我需要的解决一些问题我觉得我们,是的你和我在一起,需要妥协的。

头号万达告诉我你说我真的伤害了我的感情是,”任何人都可以吐出四个孩子”。我有这种说法严重的问题,因为它是一个谎言数目 ;因为孩子们是我的他们不是你的血肉。是的你在那里为他们过去的 7 年左右的时间,但不会是你的孩子。它使孩子们,你的家人、 你爱的人和你部分负责的人,他们仍然总有 50%的基因代码、 无论你是多么的爱他们,你不能代替我。你不能改变他们的基因组成,就像我相信你想你可以抹去所有的痕迹,我从他们那里,你不能。我建议你来到这个术语,并试图理解的母亲和我观察将保持不变甚至当一个孩子分开他们亲生母亲从出生的孩子特别的羁绊。
请允许我给你举个例子从我自己的生活。你可能不知道这对我,但我没有采纳。燃烧的欲望,要找到我生物的家,我的根在很年轻的时候了为此目的,我 15 岁开始通过研究。我花了无数时间冲刷的”动产”(是的令人作呕的亚利桑那州用牲畜销售额列来发布通过公告的) 记录帮助很多其他人在亚利桑那州搜索黑社会,但永远不会成功地定位自己的公告。
夏琳出生后我成了真的痴迷于寻找我的亲生母亲,和很多的研究后我终于找到了她。
她所经历的这一天我打电话给她的第一次清楚地表明了母亲和儿童只有之间的连接通过时间不间断。

我的亲生母亲,6 月,(万达 6 月命名查克的母亲和我的亲生母亲) 是新型的女人只是空闲时间是当她是睡着了。她从来没有真正停止做。我第一次打电话给她的一天是她的生命中弥足珍贵的时刻之一在哪里她简单地停顿了一下,在电话上不少,在某些期待接到一个女儿她素未谋面。称之为一个通灵的连接,孪晶结构的单元格,或相信,血缘,她知道她安排收养婴儿正要打电话给她一天,她已经做好准备。

吉尔我不告诉你这些是为了让我们的孩子的母亲或继母的爱的比较。然而,至今拼命想解释说,在这个家庭里的每个人都将会更好更多的爱,而不是更多的痛苦。我从不会强迫我的孩子们做出抉择,你和我,我不是害怕结果,而是因为它是根本不必要为他们做出这样的选择。

现在是吉尔,我的孩子们几乎都是成年人,我意识到他们可以决定永远不会再跟我说话。你觉得他们会觉得当他们有他们自己的孩子和意识到的欺骗和卑鄙的战术,把我拒之门外自从你成为他们生活的重要组成部分?你相信他们会忽视你和罗宾曾对我多年来的糟糕的事情吗?

我打赌,成年后将会打开他们的眼睛,多么的意思是你一直在我身边。我老实说希望他们不会成为这么生气的指责,没有告诉他们我叫、 写道,或飞行 1200 英里,看到他们只来威胁你非法侵入罪名如果我不曾离开。吉尔,像你一样深深地伤害了我,我不希望这种痛苦在你身上。

我认为所有的你每天,虽然有时我充满了痛苦,最终导致愤怒,大部分为想你的深情。我想象你教学万达读音乐,鼓励 Daniel 追求戏剧,并抱着孙子我将永远不会举行,爱与崇拜他们显然值得。我想象你的痛苦,因为我一旦毡,紧密地忽略了可悲的是一个人教那性交是一些妇女鄙视,和那显示的感情或被公开深情是不恰当的即使对于男人和妻子。我想象你哭独自实现他们很快就会离开,即使你嫁给一个伟大的人,你很快就会很寂寞。

吉儿,我会永远和你一起欢迎任何积极的关系。将能够克服痛苦的过去,如果你将简单地伸出真诚的友谊对我。我们有很多共同点,我的孩子们告诉我这一次又一次。Daniel 告诉我说我把伤人的消息在你的答录机上留给你。老实说不记得想要伤害你 ;然而我知道在痛苦中的时候,我可以很小气。我知道这听起来像我在找借口,我不是。那里是没有任何借口,如果伤害了你 ;并且如果我做了我真的很抱歉。请发现它在你的心,能原谅我。

吉尔,拜托,我求你开始试着将我添加到您的生活。

无论你的选择,我祝你顺利。

此致敬礼
利亚

old letter from my daughter Charlene

7/27/04

Hey mommy

well lol I didnt read that whole thing ebfore I sent it out to everyone on my mailing list, and I read what Bryan Duvall wrote back and I knew that only you and him had wrote back so I was like wow I wonder what my mom had to say about that! lol but yeah lol sorry about that, I sent it to a bunch of girls too now their all gonna think Im a lesbian or something.  I was telling her how dad is geting my Birkenstocks from Germany and she But they are like mad comfortable so now everyone wears them! lol espically all the popular kids. Anyways I am about to go to the mall, and I am so mad bc I have to get new bras and stuff but dad isnt here to pay for anything bc he is in Germany I am so mad. I have to wait till probably Saturday. AUGH anways g2g Im getting yelled at

love

~cc~
01.Who are you, what’s our relationship?: Mother / Daughter
02. How and where did we meet?: On the day you were born, you were a HUGE pain in my (arse)
03. What’s my middle name?: Francess
04. How long have you known me?: All your Life
05. Tell me one good thing about myself?: You are the most caring person I ever met.
06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?: YIPPEE!
07. My age: 15 (going on 25)
08. Birthday: 10/xx (I tried to hold out till Haloween, but you were not agreable)
09. My favorite band at the moment: From your e-mail Probably Blink 182
10. Colour eyes: Beautiful Blue
11. Do I have any siblings?: Yeah, I was there when they were born too.
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?: He he he he You crack me up!
13. What’s one of my favorite things to do?: clean house and change diapers? (Just kidding) Go to the Mall and hang out with friends.
14. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?: “Waaa waaa!” The first real word was “Dad”
15. Describe me in 3 words: Love, Joy, Gentleness.
16. Name 5 things I love: Dad, Mom, Libby, Wanda, Danny, Libby, and Jessie.
17. Do you think I’m good looking?: Of course!
18. How would you describe me to someone?: This is my daughter, she is a beautiful person.
19. Would you ever date me?: Umm, no. But I’d chaperone.
20. Tell me one thing you’ve always wanted to say but never did: I have always said what ever needed to be said, and sometimes that was hard to do.
21: What do you like most about me?: You are my daughter.
22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?: Talk, go to the movies, eat at a restraunt, and listen to music or watch TV.
23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?: You are kidding, right?
24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?: We will always be friends, because I will love you forever.
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: Bongo-butt because your butt was so pattable when you were a baby.
26. What do you think my weakness is?: You are very stubborn at times.
27. Do you think I’ll get married?: Yes, and probablly too soon for me.
28. What makes me happy?: Being given freedom. Time to relax.
29. What makes me sad?: Not getting your way.
30. What reminds you of me?: Everything that is good in the world.
31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?: Perfect Vision.
32. When’s the last time you saw me?: Just after Christmas (And it was way too long ago). But I saw your photo a few seconds ago.
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?: Our friendship will get stronger over time.
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?: Yes, that is another great quality you have.
35. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?: Haven’t got one.
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?: Strawberry. Because it is fresh, and sweet.
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: “Only You” because when you were about 2 you used to sing it and pucker your lips up for the “Youuuuuu” parts (so cute!)
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?: I would make you love to learn things.
39. Would you make a move on me?: Oh My Gosh! I am your Mom, silly!
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day? At least a thousand times a day.

I love you.

Mom

A response X’s 2

I believe I told you, dear reader, that I had told my Daughter Libby about this blog, and that she really didn’t approve stating it is “Private”, and therefore inappropriate for me to publish things here…

I told her it was time for me to tell my side of the story and that it was healing, and quite the relief to finally have the courage to tell others about this part of my life in the hope I can save a marriage; prevent acrimony in divorce; or prevent Parental Alienation.

Then I asked her why is she angry at me for posting the court docs, the IRS Lien, when it was the settlement her dad asked for; and it was he who refused to complete that settlement.  I never wanted this, she knows that is true.

She replied, (sighing) “yeah, I guess you’re right Ma, but I hate it.”

*******************************

Then I was messing around with my iPad the other day and hit an e-mail address belonging to one of my kids and typed “Hi” not expecting that email to be any good. A few seconds later “Bling” there was a message, the first contact in several years, it stated (Paraphrasing) “Stop contacting me. Stop lying on your horrible blog about my family, and take down your review of “Momma” because it is negative and you missed the point of your child’s words when she wrote it.”

I thought about it a few and then I wrote, “I’ll make you a deal, I will remove anything from my blog that you can prove is a lie. I will try to remove my review of the Song “Momma” and I won’t contact you at all if I can get one text a week saying you are alive and well and healthy.”

I changed my review of the song “Momma” I tried to delete it, but there was no option.

I have not been notified of any “Lies” that need to be addressed here, so it remains.

I haven’t been given a text back, but I am going to wait the full week before I cry about that.

Thanks for reading.
Responses are welcome.

Walking into Walls

Keep on Walking Into Walls of Pain

WHAT WAS I THINKING? I don’t know why I did it, I must be a glutton for punishment. Yesterday I decided to call my musically talented daughter Wanda June Wesolowski (www.wandawesolowski.bandcamp.com) because I missed her AND because I was attending a Jason Mraz / Raining Jane concert and wanted to know if she wanted an autograph or shirt or something.
So I dialed her number. She answered asked who was calling and as soon as she heard it was her “Momma” she hung up on me.

Pain.
Agony.
A myriad of hurt feelings flooded over me. How can she hate me so much?! I have done NOTHING to harm her, I have only loved her, and she can’t even show me the kindness of a 5 minute phone call?

Of course I am human and pain, as I have earlier posted, can sometimes swiftly turn to anger. She is 19 years old. I don’t know what lies they have told her about me; I have no idea what kind of terrible things she must believe about me that would give her such resolve to remove me from her life. To ALIENATE me from her life so completely.

Words of anger flash in my mind like the flashing red lights of a train track warning barrier. Words I never want to think of in the context of any of my children. Then the flood of guilt for having mean thoughts toward her. This reminded me of the Alec Baldwin embarrassment when he made unkind remarks to his alienated daughter and they were made public. I am sure he was reacting out of pain that had burned into white hot anger. God bless the Baldwin Family, and may God forgive me for the angry thoughts I had about my daughter.

With her musical talent she tells the world how she is going to “call her Momma tonight”, she never did, so the main word I have that while I regret feeling in such a hostile fashion is HYPOCRITE. I can’t help it, I am only human. I’m deeply hurt by her refusal to communicate with me.

So the moral of this story is, walking into walls put in place by alienating custodial parents still hurts even when the child is grown, maybe it even hurts more then because there is an expectation that the mature child would at lest give you an opportunity to love again.

Amazon.com – Read eBooks using the FREE Kindle Reading App on Most Devices
clicks above keep us growing

My Side, my confession, my accusation, an open letter to my Children

An open letter to my Children, Charlene, Libby, Wanda and Daniel,

I know that you have been taught to hate me.

I feel that your hate toward me is undeserved.

I know that your father told you I left you. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Your mommy didn’t leave you babies. Your mommy loves you so much. What happened was a planned methodical excisement of me from your lives, and your hearts. What happened was your father has told lies, committed many acts of emotional abuse toward me, and has literally brainwashed you children into thinking that I am despicable.. My children, please know that I try to live by this rule: “Love your God above all others and love your neighbor as you love yourself”. I have to confess that I have such anger toward your daddy for all the pain he has caused me, for leaving me to live in squallor while he lives the life of Riley, and MOST OF ALL I have anger for his poisioning you against me.

His was such a well thought out plan that your daddy tricked to me into signing a document called it quit claim deed about 6 months BEFORE the divorce he filed. He did trick me because he brought it to me when I was in the hospital and told me I had to sign it. I was so heavily medicated I didn’t even know my name. I was on high doses of Depakote and Seraquil and Lithium when I signed that document. The document removed my rights to the house on Manningham drive.

I know your daddy told you that I was unfaithful to him. I wonder if he ever told you how many women know him intimately? Did he ever tell you that he was on a first name basis with the *ladies* at the Silverdollar gentleman’s club? Or that he slept with the lady who had the pool, the one who lives on Danny’s Street who moved to Texas? Did he tell you that when he traveled he was in the company of other women, did he tell you about the hot tubs and the saunas on his too frequent business trips? Did he tell you about the cat houses in Juarez, Mexico? Did he tell you that we thought that he fathered a son born around the same time as Charlene? As I understand it he even took a paternity test. Did he tell you that he slept with Phyllis who is now Charlie’s wife? These are only the ones I know about; imagine what I don’t know.

Don’t you stop and wonder how daddy has herpes and mommy does not? Yet still you believe that I was the only sinner in our family?

Now I will tell you about my affair. For 14 long years I never felt that Chuck loved me as he should. He never opened a door for me, he used to walk about 10 feet in front of me in public, he never wanted to hold my hand, or show any affection… he even forgot me at a mall and the airport. When I was in labor with Charlene he spent 6 hours on the phone with his old girlfriend Angela, and guess what, when I was in labor with Libby he got a call from her again! She moved to Abbingdon Downs around the time we started falling apart, coincidence? NO WAY! He never paid attention to the things that I needed and so when I met a man named Saco at a gem show in Tucson it was very easy for me to think that this was love. It was his kind nature, his consideration of me, how he treated me, like I was a person and not a piece of the furniture, that made me really foolishly fall in love with Saco.

We spent 30 days together we talked all the time we shared each other’s life stories and we became really good friends. We both had others in our lives and we never even touched until the last night of the gem show, and I honestly don’t think it would have happened except we were drunk.

Saco and I remained friends, we designed jewelry together, and we spoke frequently and sent email but not inappropriately. I kept remembering how nice it was to feel like someone cared about me. I kept wishing that your dad would show me that same consideration. You know he says he loved me but it just didn’t feel like that it felt like I was taken for granted by him. I could have been a maid for all he seemed to care.

I tried to suppress my feelings for Saco and he tried to suppress his feelings for me. We did not want to hurt anybody especially you kids his woman and my husband.

I had to go to Thailand to pick up a jewelry order for the jewelry store. I asked your dad to go with me. I asked him many times and he refused, he said he had no desire to go to Thailand. I was a little afraid to go alone and so even though, I shouldn’t of done it, I asked Saco, he agreed. We flew into Bangkok, Thailand together I think it was March 2000. It was an exciting, romantic, wonderful, joyful, and yes, sexual adventure. For 10 days we pretended that we were young lovers who hadn’t a care in the world.

Those 10 days will never be forgotten and those 10 days will be paid for, for the rest of my life. Would I do it again if I could go back in time? No way! I miss you guys so much! 10 days, 10 years, even a lifetime of romance is not worth the loss of the love of your children. If I could do it over again I would’ve stayed home. No question about it.
 
My darling children I love you.

If I told you that every day my heart breaks a little bit more would you believe it?

If I told you that every day I wake up and think of you and want to just cry and cry because I miss you so much would you believe it?

If I told you that not a single moment passes in which I don’t feel love for you, would you believe it?

This divorce was not about you kids at all. However, I believe that since the divorce you children have become pawns in a game designed to hurt me as much as I must have hurt your father. I personally believe that your dad is so angry with me about Saco that he cannot forgive me. I think because of his anger he has done everything in his power to ruin my life. Of course the easiest way to hurt a mother is to remove her from her children.

This is my Truth, My Confession, My turn to speak. More later.