“In a 2016 scientific paper, DSM authors Dr. Narrow and Dr. Wamboldt say that parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Affected by Parental Alienation Distress (V61.29) if one is talking about the child. Parental alienation may be diagnosed as Child Psychological Abuse (V995.51) if one is talking about a parent alienating their child. This confirms that parental alienation is indeed in DSM-5.”
I couldn’t believe it,
I was going through old email and I found my “Flat Zack” project email I had sent for your class project MANY years ago. It was really Flat Stanley but yours was named Zack for some reason.
Here it is
I know that you believe that I didn’t do this project because someone told you I didn’t care. They are wrong, I did it and I will always care.
California businessman Steven Zinnel, age 50, thought he could get away with cheating his wife, his two teenage children, and the bankruptcy court, but he was wrong….boy was he wrong! Zinnel and his wife, of Gold River, separated in 1999. By 2001 their uncoupling got even more ugly when he told his wife she would […]
ExposedinLondon has learnt how a city financier and an expert in finance has been misleading the high court, breaching high court orders and defrauded the ex-wife to wipe out the value of family assets worth Millions of Pounds to Nothing in their divorce. The ex-wife Ms. Williams, despite having tried to seek help from the courts [v…]
via Law High Court Judges Court Orders Helpless before City Financier Ex-Husband’s Asset Stripping Divorce Project & Aggressive Strategies — Exposed in London
This past week I have been struggling about blogging my life. One of my kids says she hates reading about her family here… I know it hurts her and I know she probablly feels compelled to read anyway.
I feel I must continue blogging here because I run across so many people on a daily basis facing choices I once made; facing outcomes that might hurt all the people they love, and I think my experiences might help them avoid mistakes that can’t be undone mistakes known by experts in PAS & High Conflict Divorces (HCD) shown, known and proven to cause serious, sometimes PERMANENT, psychological trauma to kids and parents in high conflict divorce cases (HCD}.
If you’ve been reading here before then you know that I feel that sometimes a parent isn’t alienating the child/ren on purpose; sometimes they are just so full of pain over the break-up they can’t bring themselves to be respectful… Talking about the other parent in a positive light is actually impossible when one is hurting so badly… and alienation can occur subconsciously. However, once a parent understands that their behavior, comments, and preventing contact so that normal healthy parent/child relationships can continue to exist, is harming not just their ex, but also damaging the children, well then we move to a different level. We may be leaving kids in the care of a cruel and possibly dangerous person… One who doesn’t care about the child’s self esteem, or who places their own feelings above those others. This is the person who should face sanctions, possibly criminal charges for child abuse. That is EXACTLY what this behavior is; Child Abuse.
Signs of parental alienation include:
- Bad-mouthing the other parent to the children
- Limiting contact
- Erasing the parent from the children’s lives
- Forcing the children to reject the other parent
- Forcing the children to choose sides
- Creating the impression the other parent is dangerous (yes I just said the alternator is the dangerous one…)
- Belittling comments to the other parent in front of the children
- Calling the children to testify against the other parent
- Convincing the children the other parent is creating financial hardship on the family
- Spreading rumors and lies to community members which make it difficult, if not impossible, for the other parent to remain within the family’s previous shared community.
- Making criminal allegations to law enforcement causing legal issues and sometimes incarceration when there is no validity to the charges; or the charges emanate from legal activity prior to divorce or separation.
My son believes that I stole from his father, he says he was shown proof. I have asked to see this proof to no avail. I’m left to believe either it doesn’t exist, or may be easily refuted once I can see what was shown to him. Proving a negative is almost impossible. However making sense of documents, providing legitimate reasons specific papers exist, is quite simple. Showing a kid some stock trades or line item purchases without giving background, or dates, (perhaps a married couple decision to make a purchase, now being twisted into a theft by the outsider) whatever the case may be, if their was a CRIME COMMITTED then the District Attorney would file charges, a criminal trial would ensue, and the truth would come out because unlike family court, criminal court has due process and burdens of proof to satisfy. How is a child supposed to have the critical thinking skills required to question legitimacy of these types of accusations? S/he can’t s/he just believes it or not.
MY HIGHEST CRIME:
ONE DAY while I was still married I did something out of anger that I knew was wrong. I charged 100 pizzas to his card and had them delivered to his former workplace with a nice greeting. $500. is no felony. People enjoyed it and I felt a little less angry that day.
Yup I did that.
– See more at: http://www.natlawreview.com/article/parental-alienation#sthash.bSissCTq.dpuf
A general view of The Ministry of Justice building Joanna Morris / Thursday 3 December 2015 / News Published Thursday 3 December 2015 / News THE family courts are damaging children and vulnerable families by failing to enforce their own orders, says a Darlington woman. The woman, who did not want to be named, and […]
I AM THE ALIENATOR
by Karen Woodall
I am an alienator. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behavior patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalizing them. I know your behavior patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.
I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did not notice that.
I am an alienator, at times in the past you felt a chill wind blow through you when my moods changed as I raged and then sweet talked you to smooth the ripples in your growing awareness. My mind is distorted but the projection of shadows causes you to believe it is yours which has failed you. Eventually you came to believe that it was you and not I who was crazy. You shivered as I turned down the gas light.
When you appeal to the outside world for assistance I will turn my most charming face to the sun and open my arms wide and beseech them to believe that I only want the best for my children. I will widen my eyes and up turn my palms and say ‘what can I do when they don’t want to see you’ and suck into my airspace all those who attempt to bring change to the lives of the weapons I know I can use.
My children are assets, collateral, extensions of plans that I make to wreak my revenge upon people who challenge my views or attempt to remove the control that I have in my life.
My children are satellites orbiting sunshine coming only from me – you could never compete with the warmth that I wind around each of their hearts so that only my love is enough; making yours surplus, not needed, discarded like clothes that you bought and I won’t let them wear.
I am all that they need.
You are not.
When our love ended my rage recruited our children to a campaign of
revenge that joins us together against you.
In my mind your betrayal awakened the traumas of people long dead and ignited the fuse that lead to the bomb that blew up our lives. Now, the souls of our children are hostage to wrongs which come howling from hell and you are helpless to hold back the tide which will sweep you and they to the death that is living with losing your children whilst they are still breathing. Your loss not mine which you and not I will have to survive.
Sometimes you mirror me, two perfect projections that weave webs of destruction that sever our children in two, one side light, one side dark, you there in the shadows.
But mostly it is because I cannot see my behaviours, I am blind to the sight of myself in the mirror. The only reflection I need is the love of my children to feed me and give me a sense of my self which I lost even before I was born.
I am the alienator, annihilator, terminator. My aim is to end, by fair means or foul, your place in the hearts and the lives of your children.
I am easily spotted by those who know me but invisible to those who do not. You will spend your time, your energy and money telling them I am behind this whilst I smile and continue to shred the trust our children once held in you. I am an alienator even when I do not know it and the failure to see the shadows I cast in the projections I throw onto you, is the fault of a system so blinded by bias it is frozen like the minds of our children, the children being harmed right under the noses of those who should know how to help them but sadly, do not.
In the plain sight of you and of them, the lives of the children you love are stolen, erased and extinguished.
And your anguish and pain are the gifts that I treasure.
And your suffering compensates for the things I perceive you to have done.
And whilst chaos reigns and the system colludes with my delusions, the power I seek remains mine.
Along with the children.
Whose eyes are wide open but able to see nothing at all.
I was texting my daughter (the only one that still talks to me) the other night. She says that all this stuff is private and I shouldn’t publish it.
I really think over the things I publish, I have prayed about it, I have even discussed it with an attorney and come to the conclusion that the only thing left for me to do it to show the hypocrisy, and give public evidence of the pain I have endured now for 12 years. I blog here not just to regain some of my own lost pride, but also because I FIRMLY believe that Parental Alienation can only be prevented if one knows what to look for.
I was BLINDSIDED by this. I never imagined the children I gave birth to could hate me so harshly, and so undeservedly. I was a good mother. I tried very hard to teach my children in ways that would have meaning, not just by lecture or spanking, but by demonstrating how actions have consequences.
My children have taught me that in divorce leaving the state is the absolute WORST IDEA anyone can have. You MUST BE THERE for them even if it is not in the same house. For that mistake I will pay continuously for the rest of my life.
I can’t keep reaching out to them, to be hung up on, or avoid writing the truth here because it is embarrassing. TO BAD!
A) I never wanted to be divorced; he filed against me.
B) I signed our IRS documents shortly after the divorce, HE DIDN’T FILE them, HE disobeyed the courts order, not me.
C) I had to pay private mortgage interest rates because he left my name on our home in Alabama for 6 years the rate of interest I was paying was 10.5% while the bank rate was around 5%.
D) I couldn’t go back to school for two years because of his failure to file. Until I finally consulted the IRS and an attorney who told me that since he did not comply with the judge’s 30 day mandate I was no longer obligated to wait, I could file on my own, and I did.
E) When American Express sued him his defense was that I was mental and overspent. However, all the items I bought he enjoys.
F) If I was mental as he says, how is it that he was able or even RIGHT to have me sign a “Quit Claim” deed on our home while I was in the hospital voluntarily seeking help for what I can only describe as a “breakdown”?
G) The religious aspects of this really tick me off, I have been avoiding writing about them, but there will be a lot about that coming soon. Anyway, he is a born Catholic. Divorces are not acceptable, and his divorce, and subsequent remarriage, according to Doctrine makes him (and by default me) an adulterer in the eyes of the Catholic Church. So how does he have the nerve to take Holy Communion? I don’t. I won’t until I get a blessing to do so by a priest I am seeing for counseling over all this. So far, he has not said I can receive communion. PLUS Chuck is a Knight of Columbus and a Past Grand Knight, who marches in Parades in full regalia which kind of makes me want to barf.
G) GEE how can he make this right? Admit to the kids he lied to them about me, that HE refused me re-admittance to the home, he wanted the divorce and that he systematically chased me out of Alabama… That he did not follow the court order, that HE kept my letters and gifts from them so they would think I was not thinking about them ALL THE TIME (which I was). That I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and he knows it, and they should too. FINALLY he needs to pay me the money I was awarded in our divorce.
I am not holding my breath,. But I am so GLAD that there is a FIRST AMENDMENT.
I remember you got angry with me because you were told I never did your Flat Stanley project. I told you I did, you didn’t believe me…
I was going through my email today and I found the file, I wouldn’t lie to you then, even if they tell you I did, and I am not lying now…
I did the project.
I love you.
Let’s talk about cash.
Cold, hard, cash. My ex husband waited until I was voluntarily in Huntsville Hospital seeking help for my breakdown to bring in a paper called a “quit claim deed” which he asked me to sign and I in a drugged induced fog signed it; not knowing that he had a divorce planned, and he nefariously wanted me to lose my right to the home. In case you didn’t know, a quitclaim deed removes all your right to property you purchased with another party.
Our home on Manningham Drive was my pride and joy. I was the one who picked out the floor plan, who was there every day during the construction process, put dug the pond in the backyard while 7 months pregnant, me who went to our prior home to ask for a wister I had moved to our new house. I had grown that wisteria from a twig no longer than my forearm, and now it was a full-grown tree with blossoms that smelled like carnations and cinnamon. I loved that neighborhood so much that I put myself through terrible times to protect neighborhood property rights and values as both president of the homeowners association and member of the architectural approval committee. Quit claim deed, I would never have signed it knowing what the real purpose was. I call that fraud,obtaining property when someone is completely mentally out of it…
During the court proceeding his side brought that quitclaim deed into court declaring I wanted no part of the house. Five years later a different judge heard a case brought by American Express against my ex-husband for not paying a bill ordered by Judge battle for him to pay within 30 days of my divorce being final. My ex-husband’s defense against not having to pay that bill was that at the time the money was spent I was fully responsible for the charges that I was mentally incompetent to make good money decisions therefore he was not responsible for paying that bill. So how can I po have been lucid enough to sign that?! Was it a coincidence that the judge that heard my contempt hearing was the same judge that ruled in Chuck’s favor when American Express sued him?
In the state of Alabama if a marriage goes over 10 years before divorce the wife and husband are to divide assets equally. There are exceptions in cases where adultery is involved or other unthinkable acts, yet adultery is considered forgiven if the husband and wife remain married for more than six months after the discovery of the infidelity. This was the case in my divorce. It had been much longer than six months in fact it had been over a year since I even saw Saco. However we did have a substantial tax bill and American Express bill that needed to be dealt with. The judge ordered Chuck to pay both the taxes and the American Express to then subtract 50% of both of those bills from my portion of his Lockheed Martin retirement and pay me the remainder of my 50%, within 30 days of our divorce ring final. The judge states he, the judge, would submit the QDRO.
My husband ignored the courts order and never filed our taxes for several years he also did not pay the American Express bill which was on my credit report as well as his for years. He also never removed my name from his mortgage on our former home which had the effect of preventing me from obtaining a mortgage on a home of my own from a bank. Instead I had to go and find private money at a rate of 13% interest which is significantly higher than the rate that a bank would charge.
His failure to file taxes cost me a year of school attendance because I could not show my income to the student financial aid department. Three years after our divorce I finally spoke to a lawyer who went over my divorce decree and told me that since Chuck did not file the taxes within 30 days or pay the American Express bill within 30 days he was in contempt of court and I was no longer obligated to be responsible for that 50%. He also advised that I could file my own taxes for those years and so I did, despite having signed a joint tax return prepared about a year after our divorce. I called the IRS first, of course, and asked if a joint tax return had been filed for the years ordered in my decree with our Social Security numbers? They told me none had been filed. They agreed with the attorney and said I should file my own tax returns for the years in question with my own income stated on the forms. Of course being a stay-at-home mom with a very small business meant that I had no tax liability for the years in question.
I do not believe that it’s a grey area of law if a person disobeys a court order to do something within 30 days, failing to comply cost them the right to force another party to lose money.
His failure to follow the court order cost me dearly. Not only did I have to pay 13% interest on my home but my credit was damaged beyond belief causing me to file a bankruptcy. The lawyer who did my bankruptcy included every loan that my ex-husband and I had jointly IRS, American Express, and any debt that he could claim even remotely I owed. The bankruptcy was discharged in 2005. I am only just now reestablishing my credit.
Now let’s talk about the retirement fund. At the time of our divorce we had been saving the max allowed in the Lockheed Martin retirement fund his salary was about $120,000 a year. Lockheed Martin matched funds up to a certain point and he had worked there for seven years. Also we had retirement funds from his work at Native American services, his work at EWA, and other companies over our 13 year marriage. We also purchased a weekly $100 savings bond.
Aside from saving for the future we had a very large gun, coin, jewelry, gem, collectible, and musical instrument collection. Some of the furniture in our home was over 100 years old and quite valuable.
Through some mega bargaining I had purchased Chuck a Cadillac Deville which he and I sold after driving for a year at a profit. Very nearly unheard of. The sale price was $18,500, I paid $17,000 a year before. When the cars were brought up in court it was as though they were trying to say that I made poor purchases that cost our family money. The facts show that the purchases I made on the vehicles made our family money. Indeed I was criticized for not financing them and for paying for them with a check we had the money. We had the money, because I made several daytrades that gleaned us over $1.5 million. Indeed things were going quite well until the dreadful stock market crash. To me it seemed the divorce was partially motivated by losing money to the stock market. What my husband failed to see was that despite margin calls we still had stock worth well over $50,000. Had we just bided time these things would’ve turned around. I want to add though that about two months before the stock market crash I had asked no big him to sell all the stock and get liquid he refused to do so because he did not want a tax liability.
I promised that I would not seek alimony if he put my kids through college. So far he failed to put my two oldest children through college. Since I don’t know who is paying for my daughter Wanda Wanda to attend I can’t speak for that, and my son is not out of high school yet.
There are many other things that we could probably put a price tag on but primarily the items above should be, by court order, divided equally. This has never occurred. In fact today I have only received $20,000 from an account that I myself put my own money in from Dean Witter daytrading, and a small amount from Waddell and Reed which only represented a small portion of the money they held for our retirement and certainly did not receive 50% of our total holdings with them. Chuck never disclosed several accounts including one at Travelers, another at Merrill Lynch and finally a savings account at Redstone Federal credit Union.
When it came time for a QDRO to be filed his lawyer flatly refused to do it fill out the form. My lawyer was disbarred. However, I do not think it is too late. So if you are a lawyer capable of practicing in Alabama and would like to represent me please contact me. Lorindellia@hotmail.com